A Web Designer Makes Cookies

A friend just asked me to make some cookies for a party. She suggested chocolate chip cookies, but asked me to use rice flour instead of wheat flour, since one of the guests is gluten sensitive. I said of course — I love making cookies.

So here’s what I do:

First, I summon up my kitchen robot, K-1 and his crew. K-1 used to work alone, but now he has a bunch of helpers. They all come stumbling out of the closet, lights blinking, ready to get started.

I enter a command to K-1 to find a chocolate chip cookie theme. We spend several hours checking out images of sample cookies until we settle on one. Next, we need to customize it. I like to add almond flavoring to my chocolate chip cookies, but I will need to get the bottle into the flavoring robot, F-1, which turns out to be a quite complicated. We have to do some online searches to figure out how to do this. Finally, after several hours with Cookie Overflow, we think we have it figured out.

Now for the hard part — convincing K-1 to substitute rice flour for wheat flour. Yes, it’s the same amount, but that’s not in the recipe. Fortunately, there is a massive collection of comments by other people who have tried to substitute an ingredient. I finally find a solution for changing out the flour, but it was written a decade ago and I have no idea if it still works. There is a good chance that I will end up with salt instead of rice flour, but I go ahead and give K-1 the instructions…

Oh, dear. I think I killed K-1. As soon as I gave him the instructions, he slumped over and all his lights went out. Fortunately, I had another robot around who could help diagnose what was the matter with K-1 and pretty soon we had him up and running. We all decided that the best solution was to purchase a new robot whose entire purpose was to substitute ingredients in chocolate chip cookies. Fortunately, Amazon delivered it by drone an hour later and we could get back to work.

Now it is time to access the pantry to retrieve the ingredients. My pantry is not actually located in my kitchen — it is in a warehouse down the street that has all kinds of security so I need to give K-1 the streetname, the pantryname and the password to get into the pantry. I also needed to give him specific instructions about how to find things in the pantry, which got him a little confused, and he came back with some canned tuna and kitty litter, too. Oh well…

The new ingredient-substituting robot, IS-1, scooped out some of the rice flour and K-9 started mixing ingredients — the rice flour and some sugar, salt and baking powder. Then, little S-1, the sifter robot, puttered over and poured the ingredients through his sifting mechanism, leaving a bit on the floor, but that’s ok — we have a Roomba for that.

Now it was time to remove the eggs and butter from the refrigerator, which is also located down the street along with the pantry. The refrigerator-opening robot, R-1, was not at his best and refused to move. Oh, dear. It turns out he needed a software update, so we waited while the new software was installed, after I first reset the password for my R-1 Robot account. This only took about 2 hours, so no big deal.

R-1 now puttered down the street to the refrigerator and brought back 15 eggs and a stick of butter — the instructions didn’t allow a single egg so we will have to figure out what to do with the rest. By now, we didn’t need W-1, the warming robot, since everything had been at room temperature for several hours.

Finally, it was time to mix the wet and dry ingredients together. K-1 was in great form, pouring and stirring. F-1 added the almond flavoring. It’s a delight to watch true efficiency at work!

The last step was to add the chocolate chips. K-1 says we don’t keep them around — we use an ingredient delivery network. Another drone was called. This one was not as fast the Amazon drone, but later in the day it finally delivered the chocolate chips and we were ready to get back to work.

CS-1, the cookie sheet robot, need special instructions to make the cookies fit on my cookie sheet, which turned out to be an out-of-date version. Thankfully, W3 Cooking Schools provided some help on that problem and the cookies were dropped onto the cookie sheet.

O-1, the oven robot had preheated the oven. Now he opened the oven door while CS-1 rolled over with the cookies balanced in his grippers. Into the oven they went. All the robots gathered around to wait for the final product.

Oh, dear. The robots are all connected to the Internet of Things and they have a lot of distractions, looking at what their friends are up to and hopefully not getting hijacked by evil robot-viruses that make people burn their cookies. I hope all my anti-hacker software is still up to date and working. It cost a lot, and I have no idea what it is actually doing. All I notice is that my kitchen robots don’t seem to be paying much attention.

Fortunately, the oven has a timer, so when it goes off, I manually reset O-1 and he snaps out of his social media trance long enough to pull the cookie sheets out of the oven and set them on a counter to cool.

It’s so great having all these kitchen robots. Can you imagine how difficult it must have been long ago when people had to actually cook for themselves? Now, we never have to touch a single item in the kitchen. People make too many mistakes and don’t know what they are doing — for a complex task such as baking, robots are the answer.

Almost time for the party — better get all my closet robots out so I can get dressed!

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